Begin With Respect: Assume Positive Intent

Some years ago, in a previous business, I overheard a conversation I've never forgotten.

One of our occupational health techs (OHT) was running late — badly late — for his third and fourth appointments of the day. His manager caught him between clients and went straight at him. You're late. You've irritated the clients. What were you thinking? No questions, no pause, just judgment.

When the manager finally calmed down, the OHT explained. The client he'd seen that morning had been booked in for one assessment. But as they talked through his job, it became clear the role required an additional piece of health surveillance — one nobody had picked up during the risk assessments or when the booking was made. So the assessor did it there and then, rather than sending the man away and calling him back another day. That extra assessment took time. That's why he was late.

He hadn't failed. We had booked the wrong assessment. He'd spotted our error and quietly fixed it, at the cost of his own schedule.

The manager apologised. And when he explained the situation to the workplace, they weren't irritated at all; they were grateful. They hadn't realised their employee needed that assessment either. What looked like poor timekeeping was actually excellent clinical judgement.

That conversation could have gone very differently. If the OHT had simply absorbed the telling-off, he'd have learned a clear lesson: next time, stick to the booking, stay on schedule, and let the gap in someone's health surveillance go unnoticed. We would have trained one of its best people to stop thinking.

Change the first question

One of the simplest ways leaders can change the culture of an organisation is by changing the first question they ask when something goes wrong.

Our instinct is to focus on the outcome. Why did you do that? What happened? How do we fix it? We move straight into judgment or problem-solving mode.

But there is a better place to begin. Begin with respect.

Respect means assuming that, in most cases, people came to work intending to do the right thing. They made a decision based on the information they had, the pressures they were under, and the experience they brought to that moment. The outcome may not have been what we wanted — but that doesn't automatically mean the intent was wrong.

So instead of judging the action, ask:

• What were you trying to achieve?

• What did you know at the time?

• What led you to believe this was the right course of action?

These questions change the conversation completely. When people feel respected rather than judged, they open up. They explain their thinking, reflect honestly, and are far more willing to learn. When they feel attacked, they defend — and the opportunity to learn is lost.

This matters everywhere, but it matters most in healthcare, where decisions are made in seconds, under pressure, with incomplete information. A duty doctor triaging calls. A receptionist deciding whether something sounds urgent. An OHT sitting opposite a client whose job doesn't match his booking. These people are exercising judgment constantly, and most of them are doing their very best. If we punish the outcomes of good judgment, we will get less of it.

The NHS recognises this formally — it's the thinking behind NHS England's Just Culture Guide, which asks leaders to understand the decision before deciding the response. But you don't need a framework to start. You just need a better first question.

What the answers tell you

Here's the part that's often missed: asking about intent isn't the soft option. It's the diagnostic one.

When you understand the person's thinking, one of three things usually becomes clear:

It was a sound decision. As with our OHT; the "failure" was actually the system working through a person. The right response is thanks, and a fix to the process that put them in that position.

It was an honest mistake or a system gap. The intent was good, but the training, the process, or the information let them down. The right response is learning — for them and for the organisation.

The judgment genuinely wasn't good enough. Sometimes the answer to "what were you thinking?" reveals carelessness, a shortcut taken knowingly, or a pattern repeating for the third time. Respect doesn't mean pretending otherwise. It means the person gets a fair hearing first and then an honest, proportionate response, which may well be a performance conversation.

That last point matters. Assuming positive intent is a starting assumption, not a permanent one. Accountability and standards still apply. But when accountability follows understanding, people trust it — even when the outcome is uncomfortable for them. When it follows assumption, they just learn to hide things.

The tone is set by us

The strongest cultures are not built on fear of getting things wrong. They are built on psychological safety, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to learning. As leaders, we set that tone in hundreds of small moments — most of all in the first thirty seconds after something goes wrong.

I think often about how close that manager came to teaching a good assessor to do worse work. One question;"before I say anything, talk me through your morning," would have turned an ambush into an apology-free conversation, and a telling-off into a thank-you.

The next time something goes wrong on your watch, pause. Ask about the intention before you judge the outcome.

You may find, as we did, that the person wasn't the problem at all.