Reflection: The Leadership Habit We Don’t Practise Enough

Reflection is something I see a lot in my professional world. In healthcare, doctors, nurses, and allied professionals are required to write reflective pieces regularly. Something happens — an incident, a decision, an outcome — and they are expected to look back and ask some fairly uncomfortable questions: What did I do well? What did I get wrong? What could I have done differently? What will I look out for next time?

And actually, when you think about it, it’s a brilliant practice.

The military does something similar through after-action reviews. They break events down step by step. What information did we have at the time? Why did we make the decisions we made? What influenced us? What would have changed the outcome? Not with the benefit of hindsight, but with honesty.

Yet I often wonder why, as leaders, we don’t do this nearly enough.

Leadership tends to reward momentum. What’s the next goal? What’s the next project? What’s coming next week, next month, next year? Most leaders are driven people, and I include myself in that. Forward motion feels productive. Looking back can feel indulgent, or worse, uncomfortable.

But there’s a cost to never stopping.

I was listening to Mel Robbins recently, and she made a point that really stuck with me. She talked about being kind to yourself by zooming out. Instead of only looking at where you think you should be right now, ask yourself: where was I two years ago? Would the version of me from back then be impressed by where I am today? When I asked myself that question, the answer was very clear. I am worlds ahead of where I thought I would be two years ago. And yet, without reflection, I would never have noticed that. I would have stayed focused on what wasn’t finished yet.

But reflection for leaders shouldn’t just be about goals, output, or career milestones. I think the more important reflection is about how we lead.

We get feedback all the time, whether we realise it or not. Staff talk to us. Business partners challenge us. The business feeds back through performance, finances, or outcomes. In healthcare, patient surveys are constant feedback loops. But the real question is: are we actually using that feedback, or are we just absorbing it passively and carrying on as before?

Some organisations do 360-degree reviews, and when done well, they are incredibly powerful. But many don’t. I suspect that’s not always because they’re unnecessary, but because they’re uncomfortable. Genuine feedback requires humility. It requires a willingness to learn what you’re not doing well — not just reassurance about what you are doing well.

But it also made me reflect on others around me — people who are clearly capable, clearly respected — yet who lack confidence, or who seem unaware of patterns that others can see quite clearly. That’s where reflection becomes essential.

When I stop and think honestly about my own leadership, the questions that matter aren’t complicated, but they are searching. Am I genuinely making my staff’s lives better? Do I adapt my leadership style to the individual, or do I default to one approach for everyone? Do I actively listen, or are there moments where I’m half-present? Do people feel supported, or simply managed? These aren’t questions to beat yourself up with. They’re questions to learn from.

I think sometimes leaders avoid reflection because they confuse being critical with being harsh. But those two things aren’t the same. Being critical in a healthy way is about curiosity and improvement, not self-punishment. Most of the time, if we’re honest, we already know the answers. The challenge isn’t insight — it’s acceptance. Accepting that we’re not finished products. That we are far from perfect. That leadership is something you practise, not something you arrive at.

There are lots of leadership voices out there who talk about accountability. Some take a very hard-edged approach — discipline, grit, pushing through. Others focus more on purpose, trust, and empathy. I don’t think these ideas are mutually exclusive. Holding yourself accountable doesn’t mean being inhumane. It means taking responsibility for how you show up every day, and for the impact that has on the people around you.

If doctors are expected to reflect because their decisions affect patients, and soldiers are expected to reflect because their decisions affect lives, then leaders should reflect because their decisions affect people’s wellbeing, confidence, careers, and sense of worth.

Maybe reflection doesn’t need to be complicated. Maybe it’s as simple as sitting quietly for an hour once in a while and asking yourself: what did I learn about myself as a leader recently? What would I repeat? What would I do differently next time?

Because experience alone doesn’t make us better leaders. Experience plus reflection does.

And if we expect growth, learning, and adaptability from the people we lead, we have a responsibility to model it ourselves.